Regional Council

This weekend at Regional Council I had an amazing time! Wow, it is so inspiring when people with a common goal come together and share stories/experience/goals. I guess I should mention what regional council is- it is where a variety of delegates from the Northern Region of the Canadian Cancer Society BC/Y division come to PG and we talk about successes of the last year, and the new ideas coming for the following year. I was really fortunate to meet (for the second time) Dr. Carolyn Gotay, who is the director of the Prevention and Wellness program at UBC. I basically love her job, and think she probably has the greatest job ever. She gave the keynote address yesterday, and now I have even more ideas on some really fantastic masters projects/research (just what I needed, more choices to debate!).

It was such an incredible weekend, listening to how these people in the room have inspired their communities and made such a difference. We had a little girl in PG be a team captain at relay for life, and she single handedly raised over 3,000 dollars last year for the relay. She is 10 years old!!! It was also really cool, because our Prince George unit (specifically the Prevention Team, Emergency Aid and Support Services) were recognized for our leadership. That was really awesome for us, and set us up for this year. Our prevention team had generally worked under the direct supervision of the staff member for the region, since the staff members and their office is located in Prince George. However, this year we will be completely on our own! (Kind of like all of the other units- however our team takes on a lot more projects and challenges than other units). So this year we are all alone in our endeavors- our Fearless Leader is off on maternity leave! We are very much going to miss her... but it is kind of exciting to be in such a worthwhile leadership role. Our team has been broken down into "sub-areas", with each major task being headed up by a different team leader. And yours truly just gets to over see all of these leaders and be their go-to person. I guess I would be the "top" team leader. Essentially I have what seems to be a big job, but I don't think it will be too strenuous, as this group of people are all very capable and dedicated.

No idea where this blog was going, because it isn't what I started out blogging about... need a new blog for that one. But I guess I just wanted to get down my feelings of excitement, nervousness and joy from the following weekend. Wish us luck for the future year! Let's hope we can make Megan proud when she gets back haha!

EI: Emotional Intelligence

Alrighty, so my emotional intelligence is average. This I can understand completely. I need to be more open with myself, in terms of how much I let others see. I am a fairly closed person, and I don't think that I am always in-tune with my feelings. I need to be able to open myself up to others more, and let myself appreciate social interactions more than I do. I tend to keep my circle of people who are privy to personal information fairly small. According to the test I just took I need to be able to be vulnerable enough to establish those ties with other people. I would hate to think that I isolate people because I am unable to reciprocate when it comes to the sharing of emotions, but I know that I do this.

While I am often able to to identify for myself how I feel in situations and deal with my emotions privately, it is still different then understanding emotions on a deeper level. My problem areas would have to be in developing that emotional connection with other people. Any suggestions as to how to work on this?

Communication and Listening

It is strange.. those things you do without thinking about them. I think my text book has some very valid points. We think that we are good listeners and good communicators because we have been doing them for a very long time. In essence this should be the case. But then I look at all of the roadblocks in communication, all of the pseudocommunication we all use, and I realize that being a good communicator is more than what it seems. I think of all of the times I have done this to someone, and I wonder what kind of an impact it has had on them. Probably not a good one. I think of all of the times it has been done to me, and then I know that the impact is not good. This is in no way laying any blame, I just needed to clarify for myself that communication is not easy. I am slowly having my eyes opened to what it takes to be an effective communicator, and I know that I have my work cut out. Have you ever really (conciously) tried to paraphrase what people are saying so that they know you know? It is hard! It is hard to do it and not sound stupid. It is also so easy to fall into patterns that we always fall into. My goals for communication: 1) be a better active listener- tune out distractions and focus on what is being said and the real message 2) practice my paraphrasing skills- this can be done either through talking with people or paraphrasing readings 3) acknowledge when I put up roadblocks- interrupting, judging, pseudolistening, directing, and moralizing (for starters).

Chapter 2

How often do we need others to validate our sense of self? How often do we need to receive praise and compliments before we believe them? Is it wrong to need this? Is it possible to help people create stronger senses of selves by giving them this validation? Or does this (will this?) validation lead to a sense of inflated ego, and an untrue picture of who that person really is? What sorts of keys and factors will allow someone to look at their life in an unbiased manner and see themselves for what they really are, whether that is their perceived notion of themselves or not?

How do you help build someone up without telling them something that is untrue and will possibly hurt them later? How do I help them find solutions to their life problems when I can't even begin to image what those problems might be like to have? This thinking like a counselor stuff is hard work, and I have only just reached chapter two.

Counseling

What the H#!! am I doing?? Counseling? What sorts of skills do I have that will enable me to be a good counselor? Why can I not stick to things I am good at? I find it strangely ironic that I am not at all nervous for the stats class but the communication class last night scared the bejesus out of me. I don't knowif I have any good communication skills. What does that entail? What does it look like? The perfectionist in me has a really hard time with this because I like to be the best at what I do, not just good. But in this case I feel like I am starting out way behind the eight ball. I really shouldn't feel this way, because I don't think you can fail a masters class. But I still want to do really well. Okay, next blog up an analysis of what skills I think have, and where I need to focus my attention.

A Masters Adventure

Well, one adventure ends and another is to begin. I would have thought I would be burnt out by now, but the excitement is still there. I am so stoked for this new one, it is crazy! I really have no idea what to expect, which is part of hte excitement. However, I know it will be whatever I make of it. Hopefully I can handle the "big times" so to speak. What the future holds... well, one only knows.

The right choices

i wonder whether or not I have made the right choices along the way. When I think of all the things that I wanted to do, I realize that I am no where near them. In high school I had no clue what I wanted to do. I at one point wanted to be the Prime Minister. I think mostly because I want to help people. The united Nations is something I am really interested in. I always wanted to be a doctor. And here I am in an Education program. This summer I realized that I have special interest in nutrition and physiology, and think that I would have really loved being a personal trainer or a Nutritionist. And yet... I still want med school. Perhaps I could teach community health education and prevention. Put myself out of a doctor job. Who knows. To top it all off, I love to teach. Seriously. I love the challenge of being in the classroom, I love the humour and attitude of the kids that are there, I love being able to peak their interest, even if it is in the tiniest little thing. To see a spark, or even better to have someone come up and ask you after for more info is awesome.

Yet, I seem to have led myself down this really lonely path, and I am not sure how I got here. For all of my big talk in high school about how love doesn't exist, it is merely a chemical, and I didn't believe in it, I never actually planned to end up alone. I would make a fantastic mom. And I know that now a days you don't ahve to be married to have kids, call me old fashioned. I want to be a mom. Everyone around me seems to be either in a steady relationship, engaged or married. And then..... the anomaly (that would be me). I like being an enigma... not so much the really odd man out. I know, I have heard it all before. "You just have to put yourself out there." But it is so much harder than that. It's not that I don't like myself, of believe in myself. I do. To an extent. I know that I have a lot of really good qualities, and if I had to rate myself as a human being I would say I do okay. But for some reason taht doesn't really seem like ennough. I don't know how to explain it. Perhaps it is the not knowing where my life is really going at this point that makes it hard. Maybe its rejection. Or a combination of both. I just can't seem to be completely happy though or whole. I know, I should be enough. And sometimes I can fool myself into thinking that I am enough. And other times it becomes impossibly clear that I am not. *sigh*