A Masters Adventure

Well, one adventure ends and another is to begin. I would have thought I would be burnt out by now, but the excitement is still there. I am so stoked for this new one, it is crazy! I really have no idea what to expect, which is part of hte excitement. However, I know it will be whatever I make of it. Hopefully I can handle the "big times" so to speak. What the future holds... well, one only knows.

The right choices

i wonder whether or not I have made the right choices along the way. When I think of all the things that I wanted to do, I realize that I am no where near them. In high school I had no clue what I wanted to do. I at one point wanted to be the Prime Minister. I think mostly because I want to help people. The united Nations is something I am really interested in. I always wanted to be a doctor. And here I am in an Education program. This summer I realized that I have special interest in nutrition and physiology, and think that I would have really loved being a personal trainer or a Nutritionist. And yet... I still want med school. Perhaps I could teach community health education and prevention. Put myself out of a doctor job. Who knows. To top it all off, I love to teach. Seriously. I love the challenge of being in the classroom, I love the humour and attitude of the kids that are there, I love being able to peak their interest, even if it is in the tiniest little thing. To see a spark, or even better to have someone come up and ask you after for more info is awesome.

Yet, I seem to have led myself down this really lonely path, and I am not sure how I got here. For all of my big talk in high school about how love doesn't exist, it is merely a chemical, and I didn't believe in it, I never actually planned to end up alone. I would make a fantastic mom. And I know that now a days you don't ahve to be married to have kids, call me old fashioned. I want to be a mom. Everyone around me seems to be either in a steady relationship, engaged or married. And then..... the anomaly (that would be me). I like being an enigma... not so much the really odd man out. I know, I have heard it all before. "You just have to put yourself out there." But it is so much harder than that. It's not that I don't like myself, of believe in myself. I do. To an extent. I know that I have a lot of really good qualities, and if I had to rate myself as a human being I would say I do okay. But for some reason taht doesn't really seem like ennough. I don't know how to explain it. Perhaps it is the not knowing where my life is really going at this point that makes it hard. Maybe its rejection. Or a combination of both. I just can't seem to be completely happy though or whole. I know, I should be enough. And sometimes I can fool myself into thinking that I am enough. And other times it becomes impossibly clear that I am not. *sigh*

School, School, School

School has officially begun to rev up. In a good way? We shall see. But who actually ever enjoys homework anyway? I am more excited for all the things going on outside school work: skating, CCS, practicum. And yet at the same time, I feel like I am missing the point of something. There is something that is just not "right" somewhere along the way. Perhaps it is just me.

Home Sweet Home

Sigh, to be back on my own again. After a hectic summer of running after children (and at times staff), it is now back to the quiet chaos of school life. How I look forward to all of the hours of mindless homework, gearing up for those three weeks of meaningful classroom experience: the practicum. Terrified for tomorrow, I get to meet the two classes I will spend three weeks with in October. Grade 11 Biology, oh joy! Actually, that sounded harsher than I wanted it to. I am excitied, but nervous. Can I adequately teach an evolution class, knowing full well that it is not my favorite? I guess we will see.