The Real Deal: Cinderella Expose

The Real Deal on “Cinderella”: An Exposé
The Injustice of the Step-Complex
We all know the story of Cinderella. Once upon a time (4 words that should make anyone cautious), there was a poor girl who was mistreated by her step-family, who had nowhere else to go, and stayed with them because she was a good person dedicated to looking after their welfare, forsaking her own. She was up at the crack of dawn every morning, and worked her poor hands to the bone until it set again at night. *Sigh* Until that magical day (literally) when she was visited by Disney’s version of a Guardian Angel (we’ll get there soon enough!). She ended up attending a wonderful (one night, keep this in mind) event, where she met the man of her dreams, who just so happened to have a title and goodly amount of wealth to his name. Of course destiny would preclude that they would need to prove their love for each other (which just must be so strong if they know they are meant to be together after a few hours and a couple dances), while a host of forces attempted to keep them apart. But as we also all know true love always prevails, and the happy two-some ultimately ended-up tying the knot. All those years of toiling away at that housework... how lucky was Cinderella to have so many friends in those multitude of animals to speak to her and help her out so she didn’t go insane from all that screaming and yelling by her family members? Thank goodness her prince found her. Oh, I almost forgot. I was going to add in here that it is also perfectly normal that the ultimate reason they found each other once again was all thanks to a glass high heal shoe. Really? Glass shoes? Pardon me, they were slippers.
This is a perfectly practical story. We relate these fairytales every time we need to remember what “true love” looks like, or if we need to feel angry towards someone who acts like those wicked “steps”. Wait.... hold on. If there was ever a person in need of therapy it is probably our beloved storybook heroines. Holding to a completely westernized standard, most of our ladies have no sense of self identity whatsoever. Most of them leave some type of broken home just to walk into a marriage with a man they hardly know. In other words, they all seem to be running away from their problems, potentially into a host of other issues. Yet we *sigh* and call it true love. Sleeping Beauty and Snow White both ran off with the first guy to make out with them... and they were both half dead at the time! Suspiciously, all of our Princes also share the same name, “Charming”. While as an adjective this might be alright, as a name it is fairly uncommon, which also seems a little circumspect? Anyone find it strange that all of these Princes have the same name? No? Perhaps we should change the name to “Prince Player.”
Our fairytale heroines seem to all be in need of a little emotional self-esteem make-over. To top it all off, I am sure that many of them also have some type of clinical disorder (our poor Cinderella, along with many of her friends, talk to animals for goodness sake! And she thinks they talk back!). If we really wanted to delve a little deeper, the idea behind our heroine’s “Fairy Godmother” is also cause for slight concern. “Bibbity Boppity Boo”... do these sound like slurred words to you? I am pretty sure they are, at the least, nonsensical words, although I am sure that Dr. Seuss would be proud of the old lady. Oh, and why a pumpkin? I mean, I like pumpkin just as much as anyone else. But is there not another gourd that may have been more appropriate? Oh no, because pumpkins are “magical”!
So, if we look a little deeper into the character of the characters of the story, what do we find? At the root of the whole issue seems to be a very big misunderstanding- a misunderstanding of how to express emotions such as: grief and loss (over the death of a loved one), anger from Cinderella (over the “replacement” of a parent in the form of stepparent), anger from the Stepsisters (over shared/split attention), and anxiety (in terms of roles within the family structure). Miscommunication of feelings during critical life events within this blended family structure has led to patterns within the family which are destructive to all those involved.
What we currently are seeing is a very misunderstood family, who are trying to over compensate in areas with actions that have become harmful, because they don’t know how to communicate their wants and needs properly with each other. We have a blended family who are made out to be sadistic, cruel and generally mean tempered (of course we are talking here about all the “steps”... although, keep in mind that Cindy is also a “step” on the flip side). We have a stepmother portrayed as “evil”, and yet our heroine cannot be deemed perfect either within her manner and conduct (she is quite disobedient is she not? Another cry/plea for attention? Perhaps). Our poor stepsisters are acting out in their need for attention from their mother, as they have been overshadowed by their mother’s need to pay attention to Cinderella’s condition, and they have reacted by taking our their anger and frustration on the easiest target, and the source of their frustrations. Our stepmother is attempting to deal with her grief and loss, while also trying to adjust to life as a parent to a child that is not hers, and who may also have mental issues. Cinderella, in dealing with her substantial grief and loss over losing not one, but two, parents, has created for herself a world in which she never needs to deal with reality. By having animal friends to talk to, she will never have to fear being left alone by a human being ever again. This however, is overshadowed eventually by her need to ultimately reject the family supporting her, so she also creates in her mind the perfect companion (because everyone’s perfect companion is a handsome prince with tons of money and power, and she craves power over a situation in which she feels helpless) in which to transfer her affections to. However, upon creating this individual she places upon them such a high degree of perfection that ultimately the fantasy will be unable to be maintained. What happens after this is anyone’s guess.
And yet, who gets the rap over all of these issues? The poor Stepmother. Of course, if something goes wrong we should always blame the Mom, but if you are Stepmom then you got them all beat! This story of the “poor Cinder-girl”, creates a false image of blended families. The misconstruing of essential elements of the story paint a picture considers only one perspective of the story. The stepsiblings also take a hit here as part of the “evil” crew, but there seems to be more going on under the surface that is glossed over. Cinderella is either: a) as unfortunate as she seems to be or b) a little insane and very good at manipulating people. All that side, what if there was a way to help alleviate these problems before they had spiralled so far out of control? What if there was a way to work with this dysfunctional family, so that Cinderella may eventually let go of her psychoses and be able to develop a relationship with another individual based on mutual respect, understanding, and open lines of communication, built up over days as opposed to minutes?
Is it time for Cinderella to wake up, and realize that dreams are not wishes conjured up by a fistful of smooth muscle contracting simultaneously, but rather the result of action meeting preparation? And I am not sure a “Fairy Godmother” and a pumpkin carriage are really going to cut it!