Okay, so while I don't really enjoy going to group therapy (I find it interesting, but I am not one to share a lot of personal stuff, so even personal growth in a group is very difficult), I can see some benefits. I had said at one point that my personal goal was going to be "confidence". Let me explain.
I think on the surface I come across as confident. However, inside I often feel very differently. I am actually just a very good actor. I second guess most things, worry about what people are thinking, and constantly doubt my ability to do something. So I have been working on my self talk (like the good CBTist that I am). And there are actually a couple of places where I can see this beginning to take effect.
The last two weeks I have been conscious of my talk, and when it starts to occur I look for exceptions and repeat the exceptions. So, when I have been doing my counseling tapes I actually have felt in control, and I have felt like I know what I am doing, and apparently it has come across to both my prof and my clients. The other area I see it working in is my skating. The last two weeks I have had consistently good skates every time out. Generally Wednesday's would be the "bad day". For no other reason except that it was Wednesday. And yet, as soon as I was able to do an axel (the jump I have refused to do for the last year and a half, for no other reason than it scares the s$%# out of me), things have changed. I showed up to the rink one friday and decided I was going to do an axel. I did... and the rest as they say is history. I will now do an axel every session, and I think the fact that I have conquered that stupid "fear" has really made a difference to the rest of my jumps to, because I have the confidence back in them.
Now if I could only be as confident about my personal life, I would be set.
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Congrats on getting your axel! Sometimes just doing something and not thinking about it is the best way. It's like that in dance for me too. If I just do something and not think about the steps, it happens.
I think confidence is all mental. You seem more confident in your skating since you jumped and did it. You seem more confident in your counselling because you have learned it and know you can do it.
Your personal life is the biggest challenge and I don't think anyone has it figured out.
The more confident you are in other places of your life, it will start to show through. You say you're a good actress, that will fade and it will start to just be true, rather than an 'act'
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