Okay, so as per my note from the other day... a song that describes how I feel right now- I guess not really about my life persay, but right this moment:
Alexithymia- Anberlin
"Are you where you thought'd you'd be...?"
This line really sticks out for me, because I keep thinking about this. I really question a lot whether I have made all of the right choices, even straight from the get-go. I keep focusing my self in one direction, and while I am sort of moving there, is it really where I thought I would be? OR where I want to be?
"It's not that we don't talk/It's just that no one really listens"
This line is just so true. I don't think people listen, because they miss all of the hidden messages that are constantly being sent. We think listening means hearing the words people speak. That is the narrowest definition of listening possible, and because it is what people do the most they don't ever really listen.
"There's more to living than being alive.."
Oh so true. "There is that edge, between success and significance. That subtle edge, between being the best in the world and being the best for the world.".
"Don't believe anything I say..."
I guess this comes back to the fact that I don't always feel (or rarely feel) that people listen. So as a result, I tell them what their ears want to hear. But usually that is never what I am saying.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Quotes from "Celebrate What's Right With the World"- With Dewitt Jones
When I was growing up, I used to hold that maxim -- I won’t believe it, until I see it. Yet the more I shot for the Geographic the more I realized that I had it backwards. That the way it really works is -- I won’t see it, till I believe it. That’s the way life works.
But vision controls our perception, and our perception becomes our reality.
Nature was showing me incredible beauty standing just beyond the rat race saying “Hello, Hello…” Always there if I was open enough to see it.
Do we choose to see those possibilities? Do we truly believe that they’re there? Perception controls our reality and if we don’t believe it, we won’t see it.
And I was just about to leave when a little voice inside me said, “Come on, Dewitt, what’s here to celebrate? I know it wasn’t how you planned it, but what’s right with the situation? Where are the possibilities?”
A vision that showed me that no matter how bleak and desolate, no matter how dry and devoid of possibilities the situation might seem,
that if I was open to it... I could always find a perspective. In this case just by dropping down in that crack in the slick rock, and looking back. A perspective that would transform the ordinary …
into the extraordinary.
Because, by celebrating the best -- that allows us to fall in love with it, that connects us with our passion, that emancipates the energy.
By celebrating what’s right, we find the energy to fix what’s wrong.
Because, by celebrating the best -- that allows us to fall in love with it, that connects us with our passion, that emancipates the energy.
By celebrating what’s right, we find the energy to fix what’s wrong.
The power of vision is extraordinary. It transforms the way we look at the world. It can take us from flapping in the middle of the flock to soaring to heights we never dreamed of. But we have to be willing to trust it, to come out to our edge.
And it’s not just the external edges that we have to test; it’s the internal ones as well. If we’re going to really learn to soar, we have to know ourselves as well as we know our craft.
I realized that if I was going to take it higher in my own life, I had to spend time not just with what I do, but with who I am.
That’s a lot harder; at least it was for me. Discovering who I was and being comfortable with it- a lot harder than taking a photograph.
And yet, I knew that was the move from good frame to great frame. That was the edge I’d have to press. That edge in each of our lives between success and significance. That subtle edge between being the best in the world and being the best for the world.
But vision controls our perception, and our perception becomes our reality.
Nature was showing me incredible beauty standing just beyond the rat race saying “Hello, Hello…” Always there if I was open enough to see it.
Do we choose to see those possibilities? Do we truly believe that they’re there? Perception controls our reality and if we don’t believe it, we won’t see it.
And I was just about to leave when a little voice inside me said, “Come on, Dewitt, what’s here to celebrate? I know it wasn’t how you planned it, but what’s right with the situation? Where are the possibilities?”
A vision that showed me that no matter how bleak and desolate, no matter how dry and devoid of possibilities the situation might seem,
that if I was open to it... I could always find a perspective. In this case just by dropping down in that crack in the slick rock, and looking back. A perspective that would transform the ordinary …
into the extraordinary.
Because, by celebrating the best -- that allows us to fall in love with it, that connects us with our passion, that emancipates the energy.
By celebrating what’s right, we find the energy to fix what’s wrong.
Because, by celebrating the best -- that allows us to fall in love with it, that connects us with our passion, that emancipates the energy.
By celebrating what’s right, we find the energy to fix what’s wrong.
The power of vision is extraordinary. It transforms the way we look at the world. It can take us from flapping in the middle of the flock to soaring to heights we never dreamed of. But we have to be willing to trust it, to come out to our edge.
And it’s not just the external edges that we have to test; it’s the internal ones as well. If we’re going to really learn to soar, we have to know ourselves as well as we know our craft.
I realized that if I was going to take it higher in my own life, I had to spend time not just with what I do, but with who I am.
That’s a lot harder; at least it was for me. Discovering who I was and being comfortable with it- a lot harder than taking a photograph.
And yet, I knew that was the move from good frame to great frame. That was the edge I’d have to press. That edge in each of our lives between success and significance. That subtle edge between being the best in the world and being the best for the world.
An experiment
I was reading about existential therapy the other day, and combining that with Adlerian, basically you can use a variety of techniques to help people realize their goals in life, whether those goals are known at the moment or not. So I was thinking of ways in which you might be able to have people connect with those wants and desires, if it is not apparent to them. So here is my idea, let me know if it makes sense to you. (Try it out too if you want, it might have been done already, whatever...)
It has no name at the moment. I shall have to google it, because chances are this is plagiarism.
Take your current play list. Choose one song that believe speaks to your life as you see it at the moment. Describe the connections you see/feel in this song. Identify any feelings of contentment, joy, distress, hurt, etc. that this song makes you feel.
Next, from your play list choose another song. This time choose a song that stimulates emotions/actions you would like to feel. Identify these for yourself. Try to find a song that speaks to you, but one which you have no personal stories to infer when listening to the song. Analyze what it is you think this song means to you- why did you choose this song to represent a "want"? What does that indicate to you? Once you have analyzed why you picked the song, then you can begin looking at the component you think you are missing, or have not yet realized and you can begin setting goals to reach this place.
This might not make much sense. It makes sense in my head. I think it would make more sense if someone was guiding you through questions, which is kind of my intent. I think this would be kind of good for adolescents. That way they can talk about emotions through a different venue (music) as opposed to having to be exposed themselves. They can use someone elses words to help them find their own. Ideas?
It has no name at the moment. I shall have to google it, because chances are this is plagiarism.
Take your current play list. Choose one song that believe speaks to your life as you see it at the moment. Describe the connections you see/feel in this song. Identify any feelings of contentment, joy, distress, hurt, etc. that this song makes you feel.
Next, from your play list choose another song. This time choose a song that stimulates emotions/actions you would like to feel. Identify these for yourself. Try to find a song that speaks to you, but one which you have no personal stories to infer when listening to the song. Analyze what it is you think this song means to you- why did you choose this song to represent a "want"? What does that indicate to you? Once you have analyzed why you picked the song, then you can begin looking at the component you think you are missing, or have not yet realized and you can begin setting goals to reach this place.
This might not make much sense. It makes sense in my head. I think it would make more sense if someone was guiding you through questions, which is kind of my intent. I think this would be kind of good for adolescents. That way they can talk about emotions through a different venue (music) as opposed to having to be exposed themselves. They can use someone elses words to help them find their own. Ideas?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Regional Council
This weekend at Regional Council I had an amazing time! Wow, it is so inspiring when people with a common goal come together and share stories/experience/goals. I guess I should mention what regional council is- it is where a variety of delegates from the Northern Region of the Canadian Cancer Society BC/Y division come to PG and we talk about successes of the last year, and the new ideas coming for the following year. I was really fortunate to meet (for the second time) Dr. Carolyn Gotay, who is the director of the Prevention and Wellness program at UBC. I basically love her job, and think she probably has the greatest job ever. She gave the keynote address yesterday, and now I have even more ideas on some really fantastic masters projects/research (just what I needed, more choices to debate!).
It was such an incredible weekend, listening to how these people in the room have inspired their communities and made such a difference. We had a little girl in PG be a team captain at relay for life, and she single handedly raised over 3,000 dollars last year for the relay. She is 10 years old!!! It was also really cool, because our Prince George unit (specifically the Prevention Team, Emergency Aid and Support Services) were recognized for our leadership. That was really awesome for us, and set us up for this year. Our prevention team had generally worked under the direct supervision of the staff member for the region, since the staff members and their office is located in Prince George. However, this year we will be completely on our own! (Kind of like all of the other units- however our team takes on a lot more projects and challenges than other units). So this year we are all alone in our endeavors- our Fearless Leader is off on maternity leave! We are very much going to miss her... but it is kind of exciting to be in such a worthwhile leadership role. Our team has been broken down into "sub-areas", with each major task being headed up by a different team leader. And yours truly just gets to over see all of these leaders and be their go-to person. I guess I would be the "top" team leader. Essentially I have what seems to be a big job, but I don't think it will be too strenuous, as this group of people are all very capable and dedicated.
No idea where this blog was going, because it isn't what I started out blogging about... need a new blog for that one. But I guess I just wanted to get down my feelings of excitement, nervousness and joy from the following weekend. Wish us luck for the future year! Let's hope we can make Megan proud when she gets back haha!
It was such an incredible weekend, listening to how these people in the room have inspired their communities and made such a difference. We had a little girl in PG be a team captain at relay for life, and she single handedly raised over 3,000 dollars last year for the relay. She is 10 years old!!! It was also really cool, because our Prince George unit (specifically the Prevention Team, Emergency Aid and Support Services) were recognized for our leadership. That was really awesome for us, and set us up for this year. Our prevention team had generally worked under the direct supervision of the staff member for the region, since the staff members and their office is located in Prince George. However, this year we will be completely on our own! (Kind of like all of the other units- however our team takes on a lot more projects and challenges than other units). So this year we are all alone in our endeavors- our Fearless Leader is off on maternity leave! We are very much going to miss her... but it is kind of exciting to be in such a worthwhile leadership role. Our team has been broken down into "sub-areas", with each major task being headed up by a different team leader. And yours truly just gets to over see all of these leaders and be their go-to person. I guess I would be the "top" team leader. Essentially I have what seems to be a big job, but I don't think it will be too strenuous, as this group of people are all very capable and dedicated.
No idea where this blog was going, because it isn't what I started out blogging about... need a new blog for that one. But I guess I just wanted to get down my feelings of excitement, nervousness and joy from the following weekend. Wish us luck for the future year! Let's hope we can make Megan proud when she gets back haha!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
EI: Emotional Intelligence
Alrighty, so my emotional intelligence is average. This I can understand completely. I need to be more open with myself, in terms of how much I let others see. I am a fairly closed person, and I don't think that I am always in-tune with my feelings. I need to be able to open myself up to others more, and let myself appreciate social interactions more than I do. I tend to keep my circle of people who are privy to personal information fairly small. According to the test I just took I need to be able to be vulnerable enough to establish those ties with other people. I would hate to think that I isolate people because I am unable to reciprocate when it comes to the sharing of emotions, but I know that I do this.
While I am often able to to identify for myself how I feel in situations and deal with my emotions privately, it is still different then understanding emotions on a deeper level. My problem areas would have to be in developing that emotional connection with other people. Any suggestions as to how to work on this?
While I am often able to to identify for myself how I feel in situations and deal with my emotions privately, it is still different then understanding emotions on a deeper level. My problem areas would have to be in developing that emotional connection with other people. Any suggestions as to how to work on this?
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Communication and Listening
It is strange.. those things you do without thinking about them. I think my text book has some very valid points. We think that we are good listeners and good communicators because we have been doing them for a very long time. In essence this should be the case. But then I look at all of the roadblocks in communication, all of the pseudocommunication we all use, and I realize that being a good communicator is more than what it seems. I think of all of the times I have done this to someone, and I wonder what kind of an impact it has had on them. Probably not a good one. I think of all of the times it has been done to me, and then I know that the impact is not good. This is in no way laying any blame, I just needed to clarify for myself that communication is not easy. I am slowly having my eyes opened to what it takes to be an effective communicator, and I know that I have my work cut out. Have you ever really (conciously) tried to paraphrase what people are saying so that they know you know? It is hard! It is hard to do it and not sound stupid. It is also so easy to fall into patterns that we always fall into. My goals for communication: 1) be a better active listener- tune out distractions and focus on what is being said and the real message 2) practice my paraphrasing skills- this can be done either through talking with people or paraphrasing readings 3) acknowledge when I put up roadblocks- interrupting, judging, pseudolistening, directing, and moralizing (for starters).
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Chapter 2
How often do we need others to validate our sense of self? How often do we need to receive praise and compliments before we believe them? Is it wrong to need this? Is it possible to help people create stronger senses of selves by giving them this validation? Or does this (will this?) validation lead to a sense of inflated ego, and an untrue picture of who that person really is? What sorts of keys and factors will allow someone to look at their life in an unbiased manner and see themselves for what they really are, whether that is their perceived notion of themselves or not?
How do you help build someone up without telling them something that is untrue and will possibly hurt them later? How do I help them find solutions to their life problems when I can't even begin to image what those problems might be like to have? This thinking like a counselor stuff is hard work, and I have only just reached chapter two.
How do you help build someone up without telling them something that is untrue and will possibly hurt them later? How do I help them find solutions to their life problems when I can't even begin to image what those problems might be like to have? This thinking like a counselor stuff is hard work, and I have only just reached chapter two.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Counseling
What the H#!! am I doing?? Counseling? What sorts of skills do I have that will enable me to be a good counselor? Why can I not stick to things I am good at? I find it strangely ironic that I am not at all nervous for the stats class but the communication class last night scared the bejesus out of me. I don't knowif I have any good communication skills. What does that entail? What does it look like? The perfectionist in me has a really hard time with this because I like to be the best at what I do, not just good. But in this case I feel like I am starting out way behind the eight ball. I really shouldn't feel this way, because I don't think you can fail a masters class. But I still want to do really well. Okay, next blog up an analysis of what skills I think have, and where I need to focus my attention.
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