Communication and Listening

It is strange.. those things you do without thinking about them. I think my text book has some very valid points. We think that we are good listeners and good communicators because we have been doing them for a very long time. In essence this should be the case. But then I look at all of the roadblocks in communication, all of the pseudocommunication we all use, and I realize that being a good communicator is more than what it seems. I think of all of the times I have done this to someone, and I wonder what kind of an impact it has had on them. Probably not a good one. I think of all of the times it has been done to me, and then I know that the impact is not good. This is in no way laying any blame, I just needed to clarify for myself that communication is not easy. I am slowly having my eyes opened to what it takes to be an effective communicator, and I know that I have my work cut out. Have you ever really (conciously) tried to paraphrase what people are saying so that they know you know? It is hard! It is hard to do it and not sound stupid. It is also so easy to fall into patterns that we always fall into. My goals for communication: 1) be a better active listener- tune out distractions and focus on what is being said and the real message 2) practice my paraphrasing skills- this can be done either through talking with people or paraphrasing readings 3) acknowledge when I put up roadblocks- interrupting, judging, pseudolistening, directing, and moralizing (for starters).